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haha talking to zhonghan really has some effect, no no no not soothing effect DUH, talking to him is just like talking to someone double ur age. haha hes like sooo matured, bloody hell made me feel like a stupid little kid which i probably am. haha hes like so steady, know what he wants and all this shit, not just a craptalking poloplaying fantasising little kid. haha yea talking to him for like an hour is like growing up a few years. stupid old man. well sort of old. old on the inside atleast. haha i've decided upon alot of things after talking to him.

it was a wonderful dream all the way. but guess its time to wake up.

haha this is the last day i swear i swear i swear. i have so much things to do ahead of me, notice much, not many because i do not know the extent of the things i have to do. i just dont have the time to look back anymore even though its been like my habit to look back at stuffs and tell myself IF. haha no time anymore, no more ifs man. i have sooo much ahead of me. and i finally know what i want, haha u know, screw studies, im going to get like B and C D E for eoy and i will be like damn happy. and i figured what i really really really really really want is to be good at polo, im going to spend my waking hours in search of means of getting better. haha i shall start with skipping during recess time, dont get me wrong, not SKIPPING RECESS, its skipping during recess time. gar weights with 1000% will power. training like its the last day of my life. and everything else. guess i just dont have time for petty emotions anymore, haha cause its no longer about me, cause for the first time in my life i have responsibility, like real responsibility, i dont want to be like that ONE player in the team, i want to be THE player, not A player, i want to be like an ian of the team, a gabriel of the team, a diyan of the team. haha the one that defines the team, i wnat to be the someone u guys can look to when u are losing haha i want to be someone who holds the ball and teammates will say "the balls with him, its safe". yea and im sooo going to be that, i have one aim. i found that aim already. haha everything else dosent matter. dosent matter. dosent matter. haha im like using polo as a medium to escape the world. gar, dosent matters either cause polo IS my world. im going to get better and better and better. pls god. thats all i ask for now. haha and theres some real training 2mrw FINALLY.

haha well we have to be special in some way to become the main character of our anime. apparently, according to expert analysis zhonghan,there 3 types of characters in animes. the useless type. the normal type. and the special character type. the uselss are good at nothing, the normal are just like normal ppl and the special characters are ppl who are good in at least something. haha well, i want to be my own special character too. my specialty is going to be called winning, i dont care how, i dont care what happens to me either, if i can pull that guys trunks and prevent a goal but get a stitched mouth in return, i dont mind. i dont care anymore. my life is about winning as much as possible.

haha well theres still studies for now i guess. econs. sigh. SIGH .SIGH the topics are like UNLIMITED. shit im dead. haha but maybe i can die happy if i know that one thing.















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