argh im so afraid, the more you play in there, the more you stop being yourself and start being part of an organized team, you stop playing for fun and start playing for keeps. do i really want to sacrifice creativity, personality and etc for results. i know victory is kinda fun too but will it change that fun, childish passion to a different passion, one where it becomes more of a duty than anything else. i dont know yet, how long i can live out this dream i've had since i was 13. i need advice and guidance, no im not turning christian for that though, yea, maybe i'll be a jedi instead. but in the end it always boils down to my own choice i guess.

those words, those lies, they had to be said, im selfish that way.