One to remind myself of everything I loved for.

Friends will see us together and they will be like “aaaah.. that makes sense” because it’s only natural that two people who enjoy each other’s company so much do that. They’ll see us and our inside jokes and our warm side we show each other despite our tough jokey heckcare exterior and will wish they found what we found. We’ll go out and our other friends will think we are the most perfect couple that are similar enough yet fill each others shortcomings. You’ll remind me to be patient and not too mean with my jokes and I’ll remind you to be strong and not always please the whole world at your own cost. We’ll hang out and have our own little observations about them and come back to discuss and goss and joke about them. People will know we are a buy one get one free. People will admire how funny we are yet both successful and likeable in our own rights in things we do and things we know. Most lovable couple award will surely be us. 

People will attend our big day and wonder if they ever found their best friend to be with. They’ll hear us sing our fav songs at the most close and intimate setting with our closest friends and families and they’ll realise for everything we’ve been through, they see true happiness shining in our eyes when we speak our vows, sing our songs, and drink our drinks. They’ll hear our playlist all night and have the time of their lives as we thank them for being our closest people. Always thought I’ll write a handwritten letter for each of them and place it under their seat, and to announce that they can take after the thanking segment. Will write my mum and dads one in Chinese and write my nephews’ ones in jibberish. Want to wake up in the hotel with a grand view knowing I married the one I’ve been searching for all my life and waited for for so many years.

We’ll lead some nice years while dating already because of biological timeline. So have to get into oli and ams already. Always said I’ll get a car when I have a pregnant wife one day. We’ll wake up in the morning and maybe gym together or get a tennis session in if we didn’t go out too hard the night before and I’ll drop you at work at Alexandra. Well kiss goodbye everyday and I’ll be off to do my own business and run meetings with people. We’ll text not that much throughout the day but always with a smile as we bitch about our teammates, customers, suckups, etc. maybe you’ll head out for the night with friends after and I’ll do my own stuff if we aren’t playing tennis. Then if you aren’t out too late I’ll go pick you up to go home before we shower and sleep. Maybe make love passionately before we sleep and always sleep with a kiss and a hug. You’ll be abit annoyed with my snoring but I’ll try to let you sleep first while I look at stocks and all, but eventually you learn to live with it even if we cuddle to sleep. 

We’ll have the cutest pair of kids in oli and ams. The mischevious, naughty oli and the guai ams who’ll be well protected by his brother. Tough years as they grow up as we work to give them a nice future while being as present as possible. Hopefully moving into a landed by the time they are of walking age and trade a nice car in for a family car. Well fetch them for swimming lessons and dance classes (for ams) and occasionally stay to watch them. Maybe even chill at coffee bean while we wait and you watch your Netflix while I read, knowing we have all we want within an arms length. They’ll grow up to them fast and after bringing them to holidays and having a great childhood, they’ll want to hang out more with their own friends. Good thing about my childhood is that you can imagine how I wouldn’t repeat those with our kids. Would want to be stern with them yet always being there for tyem no matter their mistakes. Encouraging them to do whatever they want but not let them quit things easily. 

I haven’t thought of the days when we are old and my tattoos are smudged. But I know I’ll want to pass a day after you, because I wouldn’t want you to watch me go nor will I want to live long without you. Sadly I don’t believe in life before nor after death and I’ll want to go knowing the years I had was just the best I could wish for. 

Dear ams, Sometimes in life we think back and think shit I regretted this or that and If I could go back in time to do things differently, I would. Well, I know these are my moments, knowing if I choose to let go with ease, it would be gone. And one day when I lie on my deathbed without having that life I described, I’ll tell myself I regret not holding on, that I regret not doing everything I can for the future I want. This is yours too, to know whether once and for all, you’ll regret it. Last thing I want for you and us is that one of us regret not picking us, regret means if you could go back in time, you’ll do everything all over and differently. Our moment is this i guess, and I can understand if you really cannot do it for us, but don’t regret if our lives turn out less happy than what we can imagine. I love you and this journey, no matter how difficult, was bearable because of the life I imagined ahead. I can’t say it was the best journey and most painless one, but it was a beautiful dream that I do dream of some day.