Been a total dick today. I'm so fucking pissed with myself. For the penalty miss, for the silly sacks, for venting my frustration on my teammates, more importantly, for placing my own excellence above much more important stuff like team dynamics and the growth of my teammates. I remember how I used to hate certain seniors for fucking me so bad every training, how I dreaded training sometimes simply because of the frequent dressing down (a much more polite way of saying getting fucked) I get and more importantly, how I swore I would never be such a player one day. Looking at me now, I'm half the player I would have liked to be but already fully the asshole I've never wanted to be. What happened to those days when i would gush and openly applaud my seniors who are truly role models. When will I realize there's no point striving to be number one if it's built on selfish actions?

When we are slightly higher up the ladder, maybe we shouldn't forget that once upon a time, we were the ones struggling to take that first few steps up too.