And eventually I still return to those nights in the end. Tormenting me when we were together, and tormenting me now that we are not. Just that now, I know the torment is something I'm asking for.

All I want now is for my ideas and my passion to take off. Stuff success down the throats of all those that ever looks down on me. Those that out of jealousy, say shit like sports won't get you anywhere and that it won't make you rich and that you should date Doctors blablabla... I'll let them know that there is success after sports and you look like a loser to me when I was young and fit and cocky and you'll still look like a bunch of bitchy ass loser hypocrite with fucked up family problems even when I'm old, unfit and more successful than your lame ass life ever will be. Years ago I was driven by passion. Years later, I'm driven by fear. Fear that I'll just be another loser like so many I've seen.