I don't wanna be the man who can't be moved anymore.

Only then did I realize how vulnerable I was again

How can one let go of love so easily, why can't we both try a little harder.

I dreamt a dream 124 days long

There really isn't such a thing as a savior is there? I really never thought I'll be back here so fast

im still hoping on that candle flame of hope. dont just let it go

boy is this pathetic. dint really think i would come back here again, on my knees. to think i left one sad cycle to enter another, im really trying.

How do we go so wrong so fast

i hate bad training days, i really do. it affects the mood of the night and the day after and so on. i know its needless but im always so darn paranoid about it. a thousand questions spring to mind, what if i never get out of this bad form. what if i never get this tactic. what if what if what if. fuck but when a good day comes, all this goes along with it. just a bad training day i guess

Guess all this long dist swimming is good, I'm getting used to pushing those limits. Now I just wanna play some gameeeee

I guess if I do lose everything it's understandable. Sorry dosent work miracles.

ahhhhh fuck u life leagueeeeeeeeeeeeeee, fucking with my plans and all

When stuff like that don't affect you anymore, you know you are free

Can't put in the fucking ten meter shot grr

Passed by the hamster petshop hahaha

i feel so darn restless just from one day without polo! maybe its true that im hyperactive =(

if life is good already, why try changing it for the worse

Awesome to see my juniors again at Sunday polo haha.

Figured if I want to laugh at other players I better be a lot better than them hahaha

I figured I'm a lucky guy after all haha. Watched a few of the auwp matches (no I don't mean it as im lucky to watch it), hmm pretty nice, really makes me wanna just go nus just to play the competition.

I realized that in the end of the day, training so hard is worth it, to be part of the country's best feels really good. Guess that's what we train for, to reserve the right to be part of the national team. And honestly speaking I have no regrets

Being back here just brings back memories

It's nice to know your efforts are being recognized but sometimes it just sucks to know its not. For now I'm contented I guess :)

omg double gym really blew my legs away today and today's swimming was really quite bad. plays could have been better i feel :( gotta buck up, feel quite bad about missing training 2mrw though mannnnn

June is a goooooood month

iPod can't sync :(

My leg hurts like hell from gym :( but it's satisfying haha

forgettable game but unforgettable day. winning never felt so good before, partially because i dont think ive really won anything to date hahaha. so much to work on, really a terrible game for me, somehow i just dint repay the amount of faith put into me. dosent matter now, its things to think about in the future.

love this team, really awesome bunch of ppl, im just sad we cant play all together again for the next edition of this competition. this new batch of people, i just love training and playing alongside them, its like abc boys all over again but at a higher level.

from one of the seniors, you dont need a reason to love the game, u can just name three good things water polo give you or something, you just love it. i love the game, i love winning, i want this feeling to be just the beginning.

but again, that said, terrible game on my behalf. a team of seven isnt supposed to depend on anyone in particular but im afraid at times i just hope my teammates will create some magic and magic they did, luckily, if it was a team of me today, im afraid this game would have been lost. so much to work on i repeat, if a offensive player cannot be a stable part of the offence and yet isnt a rock in the defence, then what is an offensive player. i do know i am more of an offensive player and at times (more often than not), a selfish player too who only has eyes for everything within a 3m radius. i know somethings ar hard to change but if i am a selfish player then i better be pretty damn good at being selfish. i can sense improvement but not enough of it honestly, i have to be better. i want my teammates to look at me and hope i can produce magical moments when things are going shitty. i want my teammates to not regret allowing me play a selfish play. i want to make much better passes and observations too on top of that. i guess i do know the areas i have to improve on.

though not many will see it but thanks for all those who came down today.