First the fucking ankle, then one of those games that really shakes your confidence

Just so fucking hate for this to feel like it's a one way thing

And ignoring totally makes me feel better. Ah fuck this. Guess it's too much to expect

Think I'm just crazy insecure and this isn't helping

I guess everybody has a fear of being forgotten yet in our head we know it's best we are. It's the same for both of us.. I think.

Just really hope that this time round I'm not making a mistake and I'm not a mistake itself and that this time round, I'll never be left and never be forgotten. Cause this feels like somethin magical

busy sem gonna get busier and busier. cant believe its 28 october already, one month exactly to end of finals which means... :O less than one month to the start of finals. one month two weeks to my first ever sea games, so really fucking excited. really really. cant wait. life really cant get any better now i guess.

Can't wait for sea games. Gonna count all my lucky stars ( literal or not ) and make my first game count

Sometimes I wish that one day I'll be the only one you think about

Stuck in school on a Friday doing project and more projects :( Fridays are supposed to be rest days and going out for nice lunch day all over Singapore! Not this

Maybe it's the same for everyone else. Have big plans before uni starts but as the days weeks months years go by, we all just slowly get sucked into it. Ok less of that happening to me I guess but hey it's a comparative thing ok.

Sounds like I'm putting alot of thought into life and blablabla Actually I'm just bemoaning the fact I'm stuck in school on a Friday

I regret taking back that Bermuda Triangle. Now I really sincerely hope it. Down to the magneticfield thingi fucking it up

It's all about hardwork if you don't have overwhelming talent

So unlike me to think about the future

Almost lost track of the aim to be number one amidst all these roller coasters of
Emotions. Never never never be side tracked again, number one is the stars I'm aiming for and there are no clouds to fall upon

"Just because something doesn't last forever doesn't mean it's not worth your time" hmmmm I guess

fucking cold day in the library. oh and im in the library on a sunday. argh i think its the second time my whole school life. or maybe third hmmm.

i have no doubts now really, and i hope you no longer have any too. cause i changed my mind, i want all or nothing now.

really thank god youre gone for now. and please stay gone, hopefully forever

ok totally dont regret wishing you really disappearing for fuckingever, i know you would wish the same for me dont worry

It's times like this I need to hear it so badly

Gonna be a terrible evening today when I have to spend the whole training letting my imagination run wild. No one is supposed to affect training. No one at all, not even you. I wish I could tell you no but.. Fuck, how am I supposed to.

Please let that pilot go rogue and go to Bermuda Triangle for some sightseeing instead

strees stress stress stress argh fuck. i worked so fucking hard for this fucking dammit

evil cycle of life during exam time.
7 chapters of studying to do, maybe start.. 2 weeks in advance?
2 weeks before exam: yes if i study one chapter for two days, i still have time to play maybe 2 games every night
1 week before exam: hmm i can still study one chapter everyday and have time for a game or two every night
3 days before exam: ok one day two chapters, gotta chiong.... after this game
1 day before exam (must have cleared some chapters  duh): 2 chapters left ok i chiong all today.. after this game
4 hours before exam: ok one more week of reading left phew. aiya better distress, a game first.
hmm might just be addicted

argh wtf. its like some extreme paranoia

It's only when I felt that tearing at my chest when you said those words did I realize

But hey, putting on that smile is what I'm best at. What's new

the harder you love, the more you feel
the more youre willing to give, the more you want to take


No, you don't want me. You want a part of me, just that part that makes you happy.

Argh one of those low self confidence week. And no one really seems to care

Argh really hate school. It's like I'm hit by this sudden revelation of why everyone else hates it

New rules new playing style but why so fuckkkkking tiring :(

Just. Disappear. Or die. Or whatever. Fucking vanish already.

Like a thousand fucking knives.

I don't want to live a life forever being second best but what choice do I have

Some things are worth working for cause you always see a definite future or result in it, guess that's why I train so hard everyday. Then there's things like iea, where you will try and try and never know what it'll be like.. And maybe... Stats too

When ok is not normal and normal is not ok

hmm an ok conclusion to the asian cup i guess. we didnt win but we did well enough. sometimes well enough just dont cut it but guess its all about improvement and experience this time round. one chapter closed and we are on to the next chapter. myanmar here we go.

and the only mids i had in week7 was horrrrrrrrrrrrrrrendous

too fucking cocky today

Only consolation is that I fucked up a less important match

Wake wake wake the fuck up. Fuck am I doing seriously.

really justifies the amount we trained, thanks really for this giant morale booster prior to SEA games. love this competition, love this team and of course ever so in love with this game.

i want to be number one, that shall never change. Almost everything about my life in this past year has changed, a whirlwind of transitions, but deep down i still want to be number 1. i want to carry the burden of the teams defeat or poor performance and bathe in the glory of victory. let me live my life in this adrenaline filled moment

May this goal lust never be satisfied, may this hunger for victory only grow with experience

when one of the most fortunate things in your life is the biggest mistake in someone else's

If only she knew... If only she could take a peek into my mind