I was born strong. I am hardy. I wish I can be forever. Wish I could match the allure of that damn place

Where is the fire we all proclaim to have? Really, if im going training despite everything, I really dont understand. Maybe its something you learn when you are older, to extinguish your flames and settle for mediocrity. or maybe i just really really really need to be in the pool now to run away from everything

Sometimes do you ask yourself if it's worth it, all this shit

same old same old

You're the only bright part of my day but I doubt I'm yours 

Can*

Crazy aching but glad I didn't really give up today's sets. Otherwise, how do I be the best 

Happy days like tis make everything worth it

Yes yes and go ahead and write scathing posts about me privately I'm fine

Lol on the contrary, regarding this matter I don't know what effort have you ever made 

And after all that all you feel is this giant mental fatigue 

Seriously fucking lame, just getting pushed all fucking over 

Expect less hurt less

Lower. Lowering. Lowered 

Lol what's another concession 

Snap out of it. You ain't a superstar 

Unbecoming of one who wants to be best, but I really just couldn't get myself excited for some reason today, no focus argh. Slaps self

What did I expect? A normal uni life?

And the cycle begins again. Learn that if you put in the effort then you deserve the faith put into you

The little things we just start keeping inside 

If the things keeping you sane are the things I can't know

So Asian games has come and gone, just like every competiton that seems to go by so fast these three years. It always begins with that distant glimpse of the competition, then the tough training times that never seem to end, then that period that just goes by too fast as we juggle training trips and more game experience and poof! Before you know it, the competition is here. In a blink of an eye, it's over, passing down so much hope and emotions for the next year and little did you realize, water polo has taken another year of your life surreptitiously. China league, sea champs, Guangzhou training trip, Asian champs Dubai, developmental cup Kuwait, Europe training trip, Asian cup, sea games Myanmar, commonwealth champs Scotland, second sea champs, Asian games incheon. Three years in the national team has passed so smoothly that falling into this cycle has become a habit for most of us. From the days that I brim with mere potential, I have moved to the stage where mere potential will not be enough to justify my position and sooner rather than later, I realized that I have left the dawn of my career behind as I step into this most blazing, intense part of it. 

I've learned so much from this Asian games and 2014 that barring our achievements and just looking at these experiences alone, 2014 will easily top the past two years. Hopefully every year will continue topping the year before hehe. This Asian games I've learned that just a little faith and trust in yourself can go a long, long way. I've learned that eventually, no matter how bad you perform, you will always benefit from the experience. Constant, persistent perseverance will eventually do it's part and just perhaps, god is fair to those with talent and lack passion. Last but not least, I finally understood what it means to play to your strength instead of trying to match others in their best areas. Of course you work on those areas as hard too but when it comes down to the game, always stick to your niche.

That's said there's so much more to work on after this short break but I'm ready, because for once I've finally become clear of my role and have learnt that different people are made for different roles, trying to hard to fit something not meant for you would just hinder you eventually.