good things arent meant to last, what changed really

What is there to do? I do have a well known tolerance for my friends after all and everybody just seems to love pushing it

Just being here is enough. An unexplained attractiveness to the pool

Im not that sure myself if polo is where i feel truly free to be myself or is it the shell of safety i hide in to ignore everything else in the world

had a great chat session with natasha the minah today heh, thanks shortie

its just one of those nights that i blog really short posts cause they come to my mind randomly.

yea of also known as emo nights, you know the worst part about all this is that all the emo songs in the world just wont fit how i feel cause its just... that different haha

so much has changed, it just seems that everything is crumbling around us, this little dream we live in. bam, welcome to the real world.

maybe the best part of good dreams is that they will forever be a great memory then cannot be touched.

Argh can't believe we fucking lost today's game. And honestly I don't think I played to my standard, and that bad pass which led to a free game was just disgusting arghhhhhhhh. Realize today that to be a player that makes the game, you must be ready to be the player who breaks the game

When you just can't get enough of somebody

its an old habit that i keep falling back into isnt it, expecting for things i dont deserve.

Gotta admit that it's been a great weekend. Weekends usually suck for me but hey this one was actually pretty damn awesome. Saturday's game was fucking near perfect for us, well no game is really perfect so we settle for the next best. Had dinner with chiazh and Chingto and had an awesome night after that. Sunday was great, full court polo at alumni (rare occurrence btw) and saw many old faces. Always glad to have these familiar faces back, hwachong alumni is family after all. Tuition was atrocious but I'm not allowed to post it online (whatsapp is a different story though, tell me if you wanna see) hahaha and had quite a decent dota run last night. Really great weekend all In all. Following weekend could be fucking great too if we wrap up this league

some words are just better left unsaid. the world seems to be a better place sometimes when i dont speak about things that are on my mind

It does get tiring after awhile, as much as I'm almost always happy in the pool. But its pretty weary to the bones and strenuous for the muscles, how long more can i do this, 2,3,4,5,6,7 years? Can I keep up this intensity? Or is it just a first sea games thing? A senior just told me today, as much as you might think others don't love the game enough to sacrifice other aspects of their life for it, they will probably be thinking that some of us love the game too much that we can even sacrifice other aspects of our life. Sigh just a random thought.

^^ day

prayers for sonia and her lost camera

Some nights like this, they just wash over me harmlessly but on other days they just come crashing on me like waves

hmmm really quite a mixed day today, bad at first then it got significantly better.

it actually started out ok, went for smu training. really glad the lads SEEM to be committed, dunno about the long term but fuck that, im happy with what i can get already. taught them some shooting technique, really hope that it will stick and that i can move along to some tactics too. i know zhi told me its really hard to change things in smu but somehow i just feel that i just might be able to no matter how bad they seem at times. Call me optimistic, i dont care, i just try my best.

then the day got fucked up. took a short cab ride (still eight bucks though) to training from queenstown and was late for the league game by around 10 min. Well i told them i was going to be late in advance cause we counted like 7 players who were supposedly able to start the game on time. and it turned out.... they were not on time, for whatever reasons.. and we got walked over. ARE U EFF KIDDING ME....... yea it turned out that way. damn horrible, guess the coach just wanted to teach us a lesson. walked over by some small kid team and ended up just playing friendly with them. wasnt very proud of myself for being really rough to the kids after that though, stupid and mean thing to do but oh well i really needed destress.

then met the guys (and one gf) tonight. oh man, missed hanging out with them. had an awesome (non alcoholic) time with them playing risk, yes PLAYING RISK. had a crazily fun (albeit short-lived) time attacking everybody and anybody, especially mich cause i told her i'll attack her every time ben attacks me. Alas, my genghiskhan tale was not meant to be, i got wiped and surrounded in some small fuck country. AND THEY LEFT ME THERE WITHOUT KILLING ME. with mean phrases like, euthanasia is not allowed here. ha yang, stuck in your cage. go back to your cave. haha lets leave him alive cause hes very funny. ARGH what a terrible end to my conquest. i swear vengeance!

Sudden realization at 330 am that after a year in smu, I realize I'm seeing the shit that happened to my seniors happening in me too. The signs are so clear but yet I continue denying them, thinking that deep down I'm actually still who I was underneath. I've never resented who I was and never felt the need to change, but this sudden jolt, coupled with me wondering how my friends would have seen me really left me thinking...

Ok end of extraordinary week. Thought it was going to be one but it turned out otherwise sigh. Monday was good an tuesday was good too. Finally did last reps of 110kg squats hell yea. But today was terrible:( ok not Really terrible but my
Swim test timing dropped by a full second which is shit. Might attribute it to poor planning of strength I guess but that's no excuse man. Speed is my greatest advantage, taking that away from my
Polo is the equivalent of taking polo away from my person. It's like losing its essence. Ok it's not as bad, I exaggerate I guess. The problem is I'm feeling faster than I've ever been recently, my game play is faster than ever and I've removed all mental inhibitions when I stopped pockying. Grrr but terrible setback to know that my swim test cui-ed. Really
Hope this gain in weight isn't a sacrifice of speed for strength, I wanna have the best of Both worlds.

Also, really got schooled by Christian today. Omg he's seriously fucking good, really toying with us. Inspirational to train with someone this good, always a higher mountain to climb.

That said I really can't wait to see my freshies and fellow facis soon :3

extraordinary two days. sunday was supppperb. one of the best sunday polo turnouts in a while man, played 6 on 6 with subs. dinner was wonderful with wonderful company too. today was really not bad too. despicable me 2 was abit of a disappointment though. wist test was not bad today, i expected improvement with the new turning method so guess its not bad. finally hitting 10. looking back from the first time i did a 7.5 then 8.3 then 8.8 then 9.2 then 9.3 then 9.6. finally a 10.1 hehe. things are looking good! had a great training today, i think things are looking good for this test week yay. this is one of those weeks where things go right i hope. but cant let it get to my head just like how i shouldnt let bad weeks get to my head!

Do we really draw the line when it's more sadness than happiness. Or do we continue deluding ourselves.

On the bright side im so glad I can finally play polo with the guys today. Really thankful that I can play dota with my teammates again too.

gfsdgsdfg

living life one stroke, one lap, one attack, one defense, one game, one training, one competition, one season at a time. live life in the present, not in the past or the future, dont let your fear of tomorrow's fatigue affect your intensity today. Before you can push your body's limits, you have to put your heart into it.
this feeling of having my body totally crushed by fatigue is strangely comforting.











i'd rather have the worst of you than have none of you

I finally know why my life isn't complete! Cause my earphones spoiled and I've been using my headphones ever since. Ok this might seem like a small problem to some, but I realize I can't wear my sunglasses with headphones on :0000 gotta get the shit fixed man

post title

day 4 was actually quite sad cause we all knew it was the day of departure sobs. and also sad cause i have to clean up the giant mess of clothes and stuff near my bags, otherwise known as my belongings. woke up damn tired.. NOT. for once in the whole fucking camp. dont ask me why, but i was damn bloody energized. I WOKE UP TO OFF SONIAS ALARM :OOOOOO that must have been amazing considering how throughout the whole camp ive just been looking for somewhere to hide and nap. but yes day 4 i was on some high, waking everyone up and stuff.aaaaand we discovered the power of scotch tape. went crazy with it the whole day. not sure about the rest of the people but it was almost the biggest highlight of the  day. went taping sarah early in the morning to complete her forfeit. another memorable moment as we reverse taped her so that we wont have such a hassle taking it off. took quite alot of tape cause she has a fat face though (heh) then sonia started throwing cabbage bits (dropped from ekas cabbage slap) at sarahs face. and LO AND BEHOLD IT STUCK. i could really feel the day being brightened up by the giant lightbulb that emerged from sonia and my head. before long we had our very own cabbage ninja walking towards mbs with us. we stuck random stuff on her including random bits of flowers. ekas group took one for the taping punishment and omg that one was really terrible, they taped all type of shit to him including like random tissue paper and a gongcha cup. hahaha that thing really made our day. we moved on to taping pairs together after that and walking damn around, omg i had so mucccccch fun, even though we were kinda late for most of the games. and screw safety, i didnt get to do my mouth in the water game for gmax with my freshies. ok side tracking abit to gmax. they had this game that the two people on the machine are supposed to shout some sort of word when they are up there. and the phrase was cough syrup. but somehow... everyone heard it as.. PUAH CHEEBYE. dont ask me why but everyone just heard that. aww also gave them my KINDA farewell talk at the clarke quay there, mehhh was never really good at it. im better at the inspire before matches talks, not these sobby poppy talks. but aww some of them really said some nice things, hehe successful faci much ^^ but anyway, the day spent at mbs was rather lame with well , non sports game. ah but i learnt so much more about my freshies yay yay. and sailing was the best activity yet. the facis aka david, sonia and me (and jess but shes hidden) just slept while our freshies went sailing away. hehehe awesome activity, i even slept with a life jacket on cause i thought i was going out too. but yea sadly that was actually the last activity at sportscamp already and i dont think all of them realized how sad it was then but im sure they are missing it now. shant go too much into the closing ceremony, its really nothing much, very standard stuff i guess, just glad my group was FOURTH BEST GROUP YAYYYY and slightly surprised the clan was second best hmmm.

really learnt so much from this camp about being a good senior and faci (nope did not mean i was one, i LEARNT how to be one). enjoyed having these little brothers and sisters yay, never really had younger siblings, just really close juniors i guess, so this is in fact, a great change haha. gotta say some of them really surprised me from the first impression to their last impression. ok last impression sounds wrong, theres no last impression in everlasting frienship awwwww, ok i feel gay saying shit like that already. really just a quick impression i have of my freshies, and yes i still have trouble remembering all of them hehe.

dr: really intense fellow in sports although he doesnt really show it. really quick but teamwork abit poor.
(in case anyone thinks this is some feel good session where i only say good things, surprise.)
(i also think i should use initials and nicknames in case people start googling their own names, yea fuckers i thought of that before you)
leo: left halfway, thats a big nono. abit too anal about that spike in his hair (i got it wet eventually though yay me). nice person though, quite responsible and stuff. not a bad captain at that water captains ball rubbish we played.
jnice: one of the quiet group that i dont really talk to much. nice girl after we started talking abit though, has a quite funny side to her (and lol she has a joke book she wrote on her own) does massage pretty cooly, i havent felt it but she looks cool while doing it hence the term. quite participative at sports and not bad at it.
(i think my girls are really sporty btw)
eugene (lol to nicknames): unfit and abit low on the self esteem, constantly thinks hes a drag to the team. HOWEVER, he really tries very hard and i wont fault someone like that.....most of the time.
iva: another surprise package, looks quiet and nice and all. see her facebook all type of clubbing photos, doorgirl and all. haaha really quite funny when she finally opened up with her nonsense. dont really play much of the sports unless its compulsory though
(i realized i sound like im writing some kind of progress report)
samuel: prob the craziest mfucker in the group, hmm dont think crazier than me yet. but about there, has no shame whatsoever, which is kinda a fun thing too i guess haha. really fun person after he stopped acting like a quiet boy and all. brave enough to do some shit during dance off, brought us to nice restaurant for dinner. bought me and sonia lunch on a separate occasion. really like to play sports too.
josie: quiet girl who really didnt open up (i feel) even till the last day. really reserved or shy or thats just how she is i dunno. not bad at ball games though i realized. ok on second thoughts, maybe reserved just to me hmm.
weikang: one of my more enthu freshies too. really always smiling and being nice and saying nice stuff. hmm dont think he wanted to scare us with histrue colours or something but imo being nice all the time and saying nice things and smiling nice is abit gay. sorry bro. not bad at sports, one of those pretty decent in every sport type.
cheryl: my second rudest freshie (second to samuel of course). always say mean shit to me, but she gets it alot more from me so its ok. very sporty and very sporting, basically meaning that shes very into the games and shes very up for games and challenges too. damn brutal when rating other people. calls me a mouse (fuck you)
(omg i realized i didnt do nicknames anymore, fuck it)
ted: ahhh my cute boy with a round face my dear ted. really nice guy with a cute pinchable face. yes pinchable. tries really hard and sports and was okok at them. but did a really awesome fight at silat, pretty impressive.
benedict: really buff fellow that reminded me soooo much of my friend bk (prob thinking now, oh NOW we are usin nick names) very friendly fellow with lots of muscles. pretty bad at some of the sports though, seem really lost when hes not rowing his dragon boat, but its an honour to have rowed alongside him.
smurf: ah my cutest freshie. pimchable huggable squishable funsized shorty :3 really cute girl who lets me abuse her verbally any way i want. dont really remember much about her doing sports apart from smiling cutely.SORRY
vanessa: prob the one i know least about because we really hardly talked. i think its her if im not wrong but her handball was quite awesome.not reallllly super participative in the games tooo i feel.
sarah: my crazy fighter girl. omg i still have nightmares of her beating other girls up. not bad quite sporty, really joins every sport. looks abit too fierce though, wouldnt hurt to smile man. but a sporty and sporting person too i guess
yinrong: pretty good at handball. has some wisecracks.

YESESSS i think thats all the freshies and its 430 already.
welll there is one more person though.

i think my biggest reward for entering this camp was actually to know my co faci sonia. it was quite a complicated story but we were actually two very random people thrown together to make the most fucking awesome sports camp group. and somehow we did. i cant say i regretted changing partners to have sonia as my partner because i dont think ive looked back since then. im not good at this type of shit so bear with me. quoting sonia, our first convo went on fbm like
sonia: hey we really need to get to know each other better if not we'll end up trying to know each other better during the camp instead of the freshies
me: is this like some kind of blind date?

anddddddd we never looked back from there. i know i have this habit of becoming good friends with people really fast but this one is just ridiculous, we were super good friends within 3 weeks and we knew each others personalities and shortcomings so well that we were finishing each others thoughts and doing those. OMG YOU KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING OF MOMENT. where the other person will be like OMG YES YES WE COULD DO BLABLABLA, then they will just stare at each other stunned and then omg good idea hi 5. sonia makes up for my lousy alcohol limits, she makes up for my crazy competitive spirit by doing the nice faci role. and we are connected in so much things that its like wow i cant believe i would have met someone like you here. not nice to post her shortcomings here eh heheh. but we are so similar too, we are both anal about punctuality, we are both quite competitive, we are both quite good at sexual innuendos although shes the one who likes to spam it (sometimes unnecessarily). we are both blooody vulgar and we are both really high when we arent tired.

its hard to say and abit gay to describe. but sometimes you just meet a person in life and after your first conversation, you already thought "this is going to be one of my most awesome friends ever" we know so much dirty secrets about each other but we can trust each other to keep it heh. ok i know her dirty secret and she has nothing on me because i have NO dirty secrets *beams* ok just kidding she has too.

well sonia is also an over achiever, scholar, clubber, SINGAPORE uni FENCER, great socializer, superb partner and all, really admire her.

never gets angry despite all the countless shit i do to her. especially almost injuring her a few times. haha cant help it im strong as hell. however sonia has a fatal flaw, she likes to give those mushy hugs that i always go eeeeew to. these descriptions of my favourite co faci sonia can barely do her justice because its damn messy and im damn sleepy cause its four plus now.

but all in all, thank you for being my partner, have fun in wug i know you can read this.

fuck you i refuse to type a title blogger

if i could control how my heart feels, i would, i swear i would.
realized that every time im in a flipping bad mood, i tend to train better. i dont mind throwing my whole body into training without any reservations when im in that terrible mood. its like nothing matters anymore, its as if if my body could feel as terrible as how i feel in my heart, it would be good distraction. maybe its best if i stay that way, i could do with the awesome training sessions. i wish i dont have such fucked up thoughts sometimes though,i think if someone could peek into my mind one day, the person will be appalled.
i think for once in my life, im really jealous of a person, not just simple envy or admiration, but serious jealousy.

It's so fucked up to know that even when you are sad, you're still doing something wrong.

Hmm it's not like anyone even care. Just not that important I guess

I shouldn't feel this way but I am and I can't stop it

day 3 was actually less fun than day 2 i feel. no offence but i thought the games were actually less fun than the beach games. and yes being a faci sux cause im really fucking aching to try on the games :(
woke up tired like fuck (ok we are still seeing the trend here) ok just gonna go through them briefly, basketball, tennis, javelin, running. hmmm nothing much special here though i really really really liked javelin. so funnnn but yea as with other sports that i love and have potential in, i dont have time for any of them. the life ive chosen :/ and sonia runs REALLY fast WOW, guess the height wasnt all for show then heh. OH RIGHT and at this point of time i had almost no voice left from doing ONE TWO PULL ONE TWO PULL and HOLD HOLD HOLD HOLD at tug of war the previous day. and as most people know, i love talking/shouting/making random noises so its damn irritating when people keep asking me to repeat or (my most hated response) huh? moved on to have kfc at kallang. hmmm kfc's new rice meal was only meh, definitely not big enough, still had a ultimate box for lunch. damn bad appetite this camp cause of the huge ass ulcer kimmy gave me during mock camp. moved on to other games like squash. OMFG IT WAS TERRIBLY BORING, no one liked it, playing bingo squash. argh so lame, cant stand it. but had time to practice catwalk move with sonia. and played the rating game with samuel sonia and cheryl, hmm very brutal bunch of people i must say. went on to softball and boy this was sooooo much more fun. haha denise just reminded me of the evil thing i did. cause we were trying our hands at batting. dingrun hit some ball pretty far and was running to get it back, then i just batted a few long balls and asked him to get them on his way back hahahaha. looking back it was quite evil. got to try my hand at the game while the rest camwhored away on my camera. i got a home run heh, but sprain my left hand abit oops. headed down to dragonboat soon after. meh never really liked the sport unless its with people i really really like like at splash last year. soooo i guess this was pretty ok too heh :3 haha never really thought i would excel at dragon boat cause i can imagine in my head when i think about dragon boat is buff people with skinny legs. yea funny image i know. but anyway, i love it when people think that they can get out of dragon boat dry, how they keep themselves all dainty and all. splash splash splash, and sadly i havent broke my losing dragon boat spree. still havent won one yet in my life. guess the tug of war luck just didnt carry over. everyone was just rushing back for performance night by the time we were done. rush rush rush, really really hate rushing grrr. the only rushing i do is in the water, hate to be all hasty and shuffling along on land. performance night was not tooooo bad. omg i totally forgot our big move im so effffing embarrassed about it =((( but the performance went decent i guess EXCEPT FOR THE LEG COLLAPSING PART. and yay people actually laughed at my joke, if not it would have been really awkward saying it into the mike. freshies' performance was sooooooooooooo confusing, no one understood shit, a far cry from  our way cooler performance last year. haha i really missed that performance, for so many reasons. the catwalk was pretty cool too, there were some really nice costumes, i thought davins one was pretty good really. and we really did a perfect jumponshoulder on stage. pats head good job partner! then there was the dance off, hahaha omg i had such a good time laughing at that one. plus all the facis were all abit high on the atmosphere, the cheering was damn intense. kudos to samuel who went up there and go crazy without a care for the world, really really amazing. although it was a REALLY stupid idea to try to shake around and wiggle around when sitting unstably on two people's shoulder you idiot. rest of the night was



C
E
N
S
O
R
E
D

because i cant talk much about it. but yes i shall just say the famous last words of samuel.
"bo ta bo lampa bo cheebye"
" im ok" x 1000 times

managed to tuck in the kids to bed by 4 am except for the 7wonders, awful really, dont think i really had alot of fun during that section apart from getting to choose songs.

gotta say, by this time im really starting to like this bunch of people and was really dreading farewell

oooook, will continue sooooon, approaching the end sadly.

why the fuck is a title compulsory now

had a great training today and a greater supper with the superman people. unbelievable bunch of people. i really miss them soooo much, such great friends, such great times. will leave the reminiscing to after my sportscamp post or ill never be done with it haha

g

Omg Sportscamp was so crazy! Really, a mix of emotions from nostalgia to frustration to happiness to being touched (is that an emotion?). So awesome indeed. My first (and possibly last) time being a faci at a camp leaves much to be desired for I guess. Reflection upon my behaviour really is a hard thing to do because well its abit embarrassing how I acted on the first day I guess. Ought to have remembered that I'm a faci now and not a freshie anymore and my job is to uncover the personalities of all these new boys and girls instead of trying to mould them into my own. Ought to have let them find their own experience in this camp instead of trying to force my own enjoyable experience upon them. Everyone has their own experience I guess. Looked back at how my great facis helped us enjoyed the camp and I guess I kinda learned abit and got better? But some things I don't regret such as my abrasive and unarguably rude approach towards people, that's really just me. Don't really think I really hurt any feelings cause I'm quite good at spotting such things I guess. So moving on to less serious stuff, let's take a look at this 5d4n experience! Yes one extra day and night for us sad facis :((

Day one was the most boring day of them all I guess, cause I was kinda being a prick all day long I guess. Woke up at 6 fucking am (oh damn), the beginning of our sleepdamnlittle spree for the whole camp. After our excitement derived from analyzing their email names, fb profiles, shirt sizes and medical conditions, we are finally seeing them. Ok no special excitement there though, all freshies have that hesitance in them on the first day as usual. But I think that they are looking pretty sporty though so yay :3 went through the school sports, mostly rathher normal, nothing special but I guess I'm quite impressed with some of the group, especially the girls. But well I've seen these sports quite a few time so I'm really not that excited about it. Was just busy taking photos of them haha. Golf was really lame. Rock climbing was ok ont, it's fun to climb but terribly boring to watch :/ floorball was not bad though we lost but I really liked it when everyone was cheering for their friends by hammering at the floorball boards heh, take that floorball people! Had rugby after that but sadly all Sonia and I could remember after rugby was "only the hooker can throw the ball" Hahahahahahha. And my camera freaking died at waterpolo. Sadddddnessss :(((( but ok I think i bullied the freshies abit too much here, drawing some complaints. But it's quite lame cause imagine if I had a freshie of equivalent standard instead, what's there to complain about man. But nvm. I could only remember about flare aka cheer leading after that. Hahaha to be honest, I really think its one of the more fun activities of the day! Not that I advocate the statement that cheerleader is a sport, (I strongly don't by the way), but it was just something I saw everyone enjoying I guess. Fight night was as usual not very interesting I guess, I was so bloody tired by then I was really falling asleep at stations :/ Silat was the station to look out for for everyone though. So much fighting involved! And the guys matches were always so freaking
Violent, super nice to watch! Plus the girl girl from my group was mega violent and really looked like she enjoyed smashing the opponent hmmm ( on a side note, her punches don't actually hurt though ). Day one night was so intense, we actually met till late to discuss cheers and clan morale. So cuteeeeee these facis :3

Day 2 was so... Tiring. I was really crazy tired when I woke up. But it was sentosa day!!! Remembered it being quite awesome last year so was super looking forward to it. Really happy that they seemed to open up much more to each other though! Beach games were soooooo sooooo much more fun! And I carried a much more
Positive attitude on the second day so I'm
Actually proud of myself hehe, I was
More of the have fun guys, more important to have fun at this camp. Never thought that I would advocate this but I guess i should have realized earlier that my role changed when I moved on from being a freshie to being a faci. But somehow everyone seemed to be better on the second day!! Guess it was the correct attitude to adopt after all! Really pleased. AND I WON MY FIRST TUG OF WAR EVERR. and the freshies also won theirs, TWICE. ok im really proud of that one actually. to do TWO tug of wars is actually damn hardcore. i did one and i was all cramping up and stuff, realized how much leg strength im actually supposed to use for tug of war heh. plus i had deadweight kimberly behind me HAHA But second night was really supaaaaaa intense! really a freaking roller coaster of emotions. the crazy highness of wearing party hats to meetings to going crazy then going angry. it was really such a memorable night when the legs finally took shape and we realized that our performance isnt going to be fucking crappy after all. sidenote, crazy moment coming up. ok it wasnt THAT funny on hindsight but at that point of time it was about the crazy fucking funniest stuff ever already

legs were finally made and kim went to try on one of the pair.
kim: why is this one so long ah, i where got that long
someone else: erm thats diane's one
-moment of silence as everyone realizes how big the difference in length of both pairs is-
cue laughter for one whole minute. with crying too.

omg i cant forget these people. super fucking awesome and super funny. then the night got bad though when we started rhearsing and doing shit till super late. everyone was just so angst. diane was in icantsleeptoolate mood, kim wasnt smiling (thats saying alot already), jess was just solemn, eka and i were just scolding everyone all type of words. sigh crazy night. but its still happy memories i guess.

ok im going to just stop here about sportscamp cause i dont know how to save drafts on the computer. this whole post has actually been like 4 drafts worth of words but my com fucked with my latest draft so the last part seem abit too rushed i guess.

glad to make new friends, glad to make close friends, but why do we bother sometimes when we are already very certain that we will drift. they give us meaning and joy to our present but also longing and nostalgia to our future.


on another note, its great to be back at training. crazy sets nowadays but im sure we will pull through like the same period last year when we were doing the beep test on monday sets, technical after gyms on tues and thurs, 4by20by30 sprint sets on wed, and effing long distance on fridays.
observation observation observation observation. see more of the surrounding, dont look at the small picture. how apt, the closer you look, the less you'll see

I feel so... Stupid sometimes