i gotta start going training again man, or i will risk losing all my stuff. no, like literally, cause my bag has a hole and usually the only thing thats plugging the hole up and preventing all my smaller stuff from dropping out is my t raining bag hahaha. SNSSSSSDDDDD

just a few km apart but it might as well have been fucking lightyears

im secretly getting an ego boost from seeing page views on my blog. suckers HAHA

you better run run, run run, run!!! OMG I SO WANNA WATCH SNSD NOW FMLLLLLLL!!

haha really nothing much on today, not much reflective ideas to talk about either. but seriously fuck the weather, its damn screwed up, it was all nice and sunny in the morning then the moment i changed to pt kit and wanted to go gym, it fucking stormed!! ok maybe i dint notice when it started storming cause i was napping hehe. FOUR MORE DAYS TO ORDDDD

and im damn hooked on to astronaut!!Can anybody hear me?

Am I talking to myself?My mind is running emptyIn this search for someone elseWho doesn't look right through me.It's all just static in my headCan anybody tell me why I'm lonely like a satellite?
'Cause tonight I'm feeling like an astronautSending SOS from this tiny boxAnd I lost all signal when I lifted offNow I'm stuck out here and the world forgotCan I please come down, cause I'm tired of drifting round and roundCan I please come down?
I'm deafened by the silenceIs it something that I've done?I know that there are millionsI can't be the only one who's so disconnectedIt's so different in my head.Can anybody tell me why I'm lonely like a satellite?
'Cause tonight I'm feeling like an astronautSending SOS from this tiny boxAnd I lost all signal when I lifted offNow I'm stuck out here and the world forgotCan I please come down, cause I'm tired of drifting round and round[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/astronaut-lyrics-simple-plan.html ]Can I please come down?
Now I lie awake and scream in the zero gravityAnd it's starting to weigh down on me.Let's abort this mission nowCan I please come down?
So tonight I'm calling all astronautsall the lonely people that the world forgotIf you hear my voice come pick me upAre you out there?'Cause you're all I've got!
And tonight I'm feeling like an astronautSending SOS from this tiny boxAnd I lost all signal when I lifted offNow I'm stuck out here and the world forgot
'Cause tonight I'm feeling like an astronautSending SOS from this tiny boxTo the lonely people that the world forgotAre you out there?'Cause you're all I've got!
Can I please come down?'Cause I'm tired of drifting round and round.Can I please come down? (x3)

fuck man, 4 games 4 loss, seriously, am i not trying hard enough? FUCK THIS, i never want to lose again ARGH

i think it applies to many people, we just sit by idly but we still hope that we'll be the one to catch that special someone when he or she falls. but in our heart we sincerely wish that they never do because we only wish for his or her happiness and we dont know if we will be able to handle it if it actually happens.

When I think back
On these times
And the dreams
We left behind
I'll be glad 'cause
I was blessed to get
To have you in my life
When I look back
On these days
I'll look and see your face
You were right there for me

[Chorus:]
In my dreams
I'll always see you soar
Above the sky
In my heart
There will always be a place
For you for all my life
I'll keep a part
Of you with me
And everywhere I am
There you'll be
And everywhere I am
There you'll be

Well you showed me
How it feels
To feel the sky
Within my reach
And I always
Will remember all
The strength you
Gave to me
Your love made me
Make it through
Oh, I owe so much to you
You were right there for me

[Repeat chorus]

'Cause I always saw in you
My light, my strength
And I want to thank you
Now for all the ways
You were right there for me
You were right there for me
For always

[Chorus:]
In my dreams
I'll always see you soar
Above the sky
In my heart
There will always be a place
For you for all my life
I'll keep a part
Of you with me
And everywhere I am
There you'll be
And everywhere I am
There you'll be
There you'll be

let me play my best, let me play better tomorrow. let me not be good, but be great.

亲爱的我那么幸运，人海中能遇见了你

argh im so afraid, the more you play in there, the more you stop being yourself and start being part of an organized team, you stop playing for fun and start playing for keeps. do i really want to sacrifice creativity, personality and etc for results. i know victory is kinda fun too but will it change that fun, childish passion to a different passion, one where it becomes more of a duty than anything else. i dont know yet, how long i can live out this dream i've had since i was 13. i need advice and guidance, no im not turning christian for that though, yea, maybe i'll be a jedi instead. but in the end it always boils down to my own choice i guess.

those words, those lies, they had to be said, im selfish that way.

i know it makes no sense, what else can i do


shit man, suck at basketball but i wanna win at it, gotta try harder ahaha, if im playing it, i wanna win it!!

start stop start stop start stop

the best feeling is the sweet feeling of victory. dosent matter what it is or who it is against, victory =)

you are the apple of my eye is a super awesome movieeee. love it. its so coool, ok not exactly cool but the main character is SOOO fucking guailan when he was young i fucking love him hahahaha. actually in my honest opinion he looks abit like shaun chen the beatrice chia ex husband, dunno maybe its just me. haha but the story is really good already even without the excessive usage of vulgarities and sexual references (although it made the movie great too). too good, first love might be gotten over but never forgotten. PLUS they can actually use katyperrys the one that got away as a theme song, really fits the theme. gotta love that story. really makes me wonder why i wasnt such a hardcore person when i was younger, i thought i was pretty bad but this is AWESOME. looks like i still got some catching up to do in the years ahead, dont waste my youth. but we all learn that its prob impossible to forget your first love even if you never end up together, never talk for years or if one of your gets married. i dont care i like to hold on to feelings, the brain knows it but the heart dosent.

plus went to play polo in school today. im appalled at how fucking lousy i am. no fucking team sense, still living in the days i can bulldoze over ppl smaller and less experienced. wake the fuck up!!!

what am i afraid of seriously, it seems that i have never moved on after these years, i should not be afraid to take on anybody in a game. Am i still stifling myself mentally? i want to be a player whos not afraid to challenge anybody regardless of ability.

i keep falling back into that hole, just that its different this time i swear, for this time, i know the difference between hopes and delusions

twelve more dayssssssss

can never figure out the fucking guitar

bloody hell fucking canteen uncle selling me puke food. i puked like 3 times today thanks to you asshole.
but dont worry mind over matter, still managed to play 4 quarters of polo but climbing out of the pool after all that adrenaline leaves you is just wtf lol. fun but worth it. favourite team ever, might not be the best but definitely love you noobs!

i wasnt sad to leave, i was sad it might be the last time.

This is the last time
That I'm ever gonna come here tonight
This is the last time I will fall

happy birthday nippolas!

every love teaches you something. two loves in my life taught me really different stuff. one taught me never to give up but the other taught me that sometimes theres no other way but to give up. one taught me that at the end of the tunnel the light awaits, the other taught me that hiding in the dark of the tunnel is safer.

one of those days i hate it

in another life i will make you stay.

the internet is dangerous, dont click somewhere you will regret

in another life

grumpy when im sleepy

i think im in trouble hmm

Common adult ADD / ADHD symptoms: Impulsivity

If you suffer from symptoms in this category, you may have trouble inhibiting your behaviors, comments, and responses. You might act before thinking, or react without considering consequences. You may find yourself interrupting others, blurting out comments, and rushing through tasks without reading instructions. If you have impulse problems, being patient is extremely difficult. For better or for worse, you may go headlong into situations and find yourself in potentially risky circumstances. You may struggle with controlling impulses if you:

• frequently interrupt others or talk over them
• have poor self-control
• blurt out thoughts that are rude or inappropriate without thinking
• have addictive tendencies
• act recklessly or spontaneously without regard for consequences
• have trouble behaving in socially appropriate ways (such as sitting still during a long meeting)

if i ever find a girl or want to find a girl, i must love her at least as much as i love polo. i want to be able to fall in love with her everytime i meet her. i maybe pissed with her sometimes but i'll always come back to love her. lol im polo gay i think

we fall back into the past so much because the future looks so uncertain

not.going.to.stop.
the game tonight made me realize im actually pretty stamina-ful still actually, gotta hit the pool like a wave! 13 and 15 i will get there!

omg awesome 48 hours, managed to catch 6 hours of sleep in the end. fucking good sleep i must admit. long time since i just lay down and fall asleep straightaway heh. polo movie club army soccer dinner supper (yea, straight after dinner) mahjong supper sleep polo lunch polo. 48 hours well spent hahaha.

argh lost to queenstown, i wont deny that they are make a pretty good team but seriously mistakes mistakes mistakes throughout. i have a few too damn. i make too little of an effect on the game the moment they silence my turns and extravagrant looking trick heh. once the careful dude came to take me i did nothing significant to contribute anymore apart from the counters. gotta do the drive throughs ARGH

seriously just fucking leave me alone sometimes, just because i dont like to get into a stupid argument with you does not mean i cant do it. its fucking irritating hearing the same old "dont stay out too late" shit. its REALLY super irritating, cant you just let me sleep at the time i want on the weekends? im fucking twenty years old for fucks sake. yea im breaking one of my i wont use vulgarities shit but sometimes its really hard not to use, ESPECIALLY when im on the phone with that dickhead.

hahaha fucking crazy 48 hours, woke up at 5 freaking am yesterday cause i wanted to ambush my old school bus driver and surprise him. wtf maybe his student mc, damn retarded cause i waited but he never came. then went back to sleep for an hour plus, THEN the real day begins. toapayoh pool shooting and swimming, ok just shooting with zhihong. then was in time to watch in time with zhihong  lol not funny. then went to school to play polo (yes with zhihong again), then went his house, then we went zouk. fucking crazy night, definitely drank way more than the usual, but just that its alot better cause its spread out through the night. lol did lots of stupid stuff, no joke, seriously stupid stuff hahaha like talking to a knocked out guy and scolding him and telling him yo mama so fat hahah wTH. the night was like drink go in come out drink go in come out drink ..... although to be more detailed there were alot alot of going toilet in between for zhihongs hair to stand at the correct angle and for me to do my endless rinsing of the mouth lol. haha prob one of the best club nights in recent timess!

AND I GOT MY CONTACTS TAKE THAT FATWOMAN WHO REFUSES TO SELL ME. lol shes really pretty dumb cause she was telling me that my eyes has some weird curvature and shit and i had to make special custom lenses blablabla, then i was like just make it. then she found out i wanted to play polo then she just fucking refused to sell me. but now i just got perfectly normal dailys from another shop. yay to smiley old man, fuck yea to fatwoman! more chins than a hongkong phonebook!

AND in time is an awesome movie, the only currency is time! ok its not SUPER awesome, but the concept is quite cool and fresh. not just those yetanotherspymovie nowadays or those heylookitsanotheranimatedfilm movies or those comedymoviewithalittlelessonbehind types. too bad, i never get sick of super heroes movie though hahaha

jayesslee damn pretty cant stand it hahaha.

jealousy admiration inspiration

in a much more contemplative mood, i realize when i pull back too much on a threaten i will almost definitely shoot far corner but a less pulled back threaten allows me to shoot both side but the far corner wont be as accurate while the pulled back one makes any near corner shot very obvious while a half threaten which follows with a wrist flick gives a surprise but does not pack enough power

in another life, i would make you stay, so i dont have to say you were the one that got away.

fuck you optician counter girl!! seriously who every encounters a counter girl who goes like NO I CANT SELL YOU CONTACTS CAUSE U WILL BE SWIMMING WITH IT WITHOUT GOGGLES. wtf? if im paying for your opinion, i would ask for it. but hey, guess what? yea you're right im not. plus (personal assault here) (also beware, stolen yo mama joke here) you are so fat that i took a picture of you last christmas and its still painting. argh now i have to try and get my contacts 2mrw, seriously wtf is wrong with these people. andddd anddd andd there was this thing i wanted to rant about but i forgotten hahahaha

At some point of time, you realize that some people can stay in your heart but not in your life. aww the wonders of twitters and its endless quotes.

maybe its just brain memory or heart memory that we keep thinking of things so much that it becomes an instinct or a reflex. very alike muscle memory (yes zhihong if you are reading you can stop smirking) i guess, when we can close our eyes and pretty much do the same thing over and over again in a game. i made a promise and im going to keep it.

anywayyyyyyy, speaking of muscle memory, i really gotta get some of my favourite types of shots drilled into my brain so that when im in the actual scenario, i dont have to think much cause i know how the keeper/defender will react and shit like that. gotta make it so natural heh.

and the team leaves today for indonesia, since ive been ponning abit of training, i dint go to send them off but i really wish you guys all the best in indonesia! maybe i'll be able to be in those red blazers in 2 years time. 

hi just a random fact to stupid ppl throughout the world, frankenstein isnt a monster, frankenstein created a monster, the big ugly fella with the screw in his head and stitches over his face is actually frankenstein's monster. and because frankenstein is a name, it should actually be used with a capital letter Frankenstein haha. sorry just cant take it when ppl keep going frankenstein frankenstein, why are they scolding a poor scientist?

i like posting on my blog more than i like to post on my twitter, down here, i dont know who reads and i dont care hahaha. crawl fly soar run walk sprint swim, it dosent matter which one it is that you do as long as the direction is forward

all this cool quotes on fb nowadays. never regret anything cause at one point in life it was what you wanted. true true. find love cause you are ready, not cause you are lonely. (lol try cause you are bored)

faster stronger smarter <---- repeat this again.

keep losing sight of the goal, at times it almost complete vanishes from my sight. but even when i close my eyes i can feel it. faster stronger smarter and more determined

they say pain makes you stronger, fear makes you braver and heartbreak makes you wiser, what if i just want to be braver and stronger and stop at it.

keeep getting fucking leg cramps!!!!! the guys time of the month wtf?

im still a kid inside. everyone is growing and everyone is looking so far ahead. correction, everyone ELSE is. haha there are guys who sign on to support themselves, there are people who are already looking for jobs, there are those who have changed so much, older, but not always for the better. then theres me, still holding on to the childlike belief. but i dont give a fuck, i'll always be me, i'll shoulder this belief with my adult determination.

i actually know all the little things i can do to make people happy, but seriously, do i want to make the whole world happy? im bored and no one is helping ME kill my boredom

i wanna play too. but for now guys, all the best. i need to train under the waterfall first

i want to live for myself, just for this once, i want to live my life for my own whims and fancies. to fulfil my goals to enjoy it with who i want doing what i want. i dont want to be responsible for anybody nor do i want anybody to be responsible for me

my eyes are blurrrrrry as hell from that excess chlorine. havent been so tired from playing polo in such a long time! looks like i finally rediscovered the feeling of being tired, and no, sunday polos are NOT tiring haha.

DAMN just when i was going to get into my zone, training ends next week and theres public holiday. looks like i might really be stuck playing shootingballsintohoop all day with zhihong. virtually and in real life lol.

lifes REALLLLLLLLLLLLLLY good once we just look at the bigger picture.

and im getting fat. i've never thought that i will ever say this but i MIGHT REALLY BE GETTING FAT OMFG

omg fucking stupid. to look back and realize you have been crying and whining over all the wrong stuff in life. and to walk one whole big mfucking round and realize you have already lost what you took for granted to always be there. my polo is so fuckkkkkking lousy now then i cant take it anymore, yea yea i've gained weight and all, but has that actually changed the whole fucking way i play? why? why play like a fucking center man just because you are playing a weaker team? why take your swimming for granted and start playing the stupid camping style you hate when your teammates do? why shoot as if you are the best fuck in the world instead of passing? why blame the referee over every small thing that goes against you? why forget the very basis of the game of endurance? why keep using fucking grammar HAHA. ARGH DONT EVER FORGET WHAT YOU WANT YIPPY!

and shit this sux, when twenty start seeming to be a small number