Just smile and pretend it's nothing. Doing otherwise won't make a difference 

Guess I've been living in my own bubble all these while. I knew what it would be like but still, those eyes that are never touched by their smiles still haunt me. Their resignation towards their fate and the inequality of this world. Just typing out random points that give me the feels 

Feel more hurt more

Lol and what's fucking new 

And the most useless bf award goes to

Guess we are always better remembered for the pain we give, not the joy

It's always the same thing

Renege 

Because you > me 

Hmmm spent almost an hour without my phone (because the battery died, not by choice of course) and realized a couple of things. Most importantly, I really couldn't tell the fucking time without my phone which is bad. Also, there was this sudden frantic panic when it first died. The urge to tell the people you're talking to "ttyl" and "brb" and the urge to flick through your social media. I must say the first ten minutes were really abit unbearable. To the point where I was considering making that extra ten minutes journey to the office just to charge my phone before heading out again for lunch. But fuck it, managed to get a good start to this new book I borrowed and actually enjoyed the slight loneliness abit. Pretty surreal as I just flipped and flipped without the distraction of the phone, guess it's like engaging in an uninterrupted conversation with the author (Tom Cain in this case, taking a gamble on an unfamiliar author. Not disapponted so far) and I really liked it. Gonna do this more

Sometime soon. 

Also. Get a watch. Don't be late from lunch break

Never expect anything. Not the bare minimum 

Sigh then don't screw up in the first place. Every wed Friday and sat are like timebombs. More specifically Mondays Thursdays and Fridays 

Words I can never say, a story I'll carry to my grave 

Don't dig at the scabs and draw blood needlessly

Choosing between the freedom of how you wanna play or the more efficient, moulded template

When can I go back to the days when my heart wasn't just spent on useless things like worrying and I could use it to play instead 

Shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting shooting 

I just want to know if I'm important 

If we live for ourselves, we'll die for ourselves. But in this life  I think I've found more than enough people that I will take a bullet for (friendships harm you more than smoking you see). I can't live for myself. It's not me

Will always be doubt, will always have to hold back just abit, because I know what it might be like

But those words. They did exist 

Just made me realize how dependent I am on people.

The little burning on my tongue is all that keeps me reminded that I'm alive 

Right before your eyes, i'm aching so fast, nowhere to hide

Trust. Lol.