come to terms with the fact that my shooting isnt very good. what to do but to practice even more

frustration max. i dont want to be only able to perform against lesser goalies. really shit performance today. how can i shoot bad if the team relies on me for it. first its shit performance at nat team, now its shit performance at smu too. of course there are factors and reasons but they all come as excuses in the end because to be a team ace, you can never fail to perform. NEVER. ever ever ever ever ever ever ever. disgustingly poor week, hope it turns around sigh.

really gotta learn everything again from the basics

Worst thing is that despite getting scolded yesterday about the way I play, I have to go ahead and play this way in today's game

semis 2mrw. cant wait for this ivp shit to be over

god. bloody terrible training.
so hard to play differently all in the same period. to play a style fitting of smu and a style fitting for nat team =(

gotta stop stuttering in front of the goalpost man. terrible past few trainings, gotta pick up the pace, time and tide waits for no man

and well someone reading this blog went to rat to my dad about me using vulgarities. this is free space and you and fu.. bugger off if you dont want to read it so bugger you and mind your own bugger business if im not doing anything to bug (i really mean this one) you

argh, this thing is truly bugging me, bloody terrible training today and im afraid i wont feel good until i have my next great training day. this ivp is killing me, its making me forget how to play proper waterpolo all over again. its a great change to play for smu and national team, from a place where everything you do is right to a place where there are no superstars where everybody is equal. or it could be just be me finding an excuse for this recent selfish form ive been in, no doubt i do manage to put in some shots now and then but they are STILL selfish plays. really cant wait for ivp to be over, i dont really give a shit about that competition but when im in the pool, all i want to do is win. but i want to get back to proper training and making my way to being number 1!

yay new season, cant say i really like the swimming, but its just wonderful to see everyone everyday and playing polo everyday again! guess the distanced swim isnt really that bad now cause theres alot of rest (unless you are damn slow) and theres game practically every training, bring on the new year! sea games all the way man.

on another note, school hasnt been so good. ive been utterly confused by stats. the other mods seem ok enough though, and pol science is really fun and interesting, although its at fucking 815 in the morning though sigh

Gabe wonders why i care so much about uni polo sometimes. Then I realized its not just uni polo, even friendly games with kids, I kids care too much. I don't care a lot about uni polo, but the moment I step into the pool in whatever scenario, I just want to win

great way to usher in the new year=DDDD great first training

aaaand we usher in a new year. as per normal, before we have a review of 2012 and a preview of 2013, i just GOT TO rave about my nye party with the boys (and girls). 4th year running and im just terribly happy to be able to celebrate new years eve with them once again. and for all those who were not with us, love you guys even if you are at zouk, on the flight to hongkong, IN hongkong or whatever other random places you are at. i've decided that life isnt always about meeting new people and making new friends, keeping the old ones close to you is important too, just soooo glad to have all of us gathered at the same place (although davin never really met zhihong since one left too early and the other came too late). thank you to the chia family for having us once again at their house aka taking us off the banlist (and framing my article up HAHA). thank you to the lovely ladies of the nights for accompanying the boyfriends to the party at the expense of  whatever other plans you had, i think we really do appreciate it. and wow, dont think ive been THAT drunk for a long long long time (yes guys, think back the ice bucket day), on other days i do puke but am really in control of my actions, but yesterday was high beyond highness, but it was an awesome night because hurray NOBODY PUKED. seriously quite a feat considering there were quite a few of us on the verge of it and alot of jumping around on each other involved. great great night guys. of course, as a test of my soberness or soberlity, i shall recite everyone's resolution for the year that has to be completed.
chiazh: average both sem of more than 3.2 (pffft in my opinion)
yipkang: beat smu in all the games (pfffft)
zhihong: spoilsport hahaha
nicholas: get better grades than this year
benjamin: lose 7 kg to 70
junsong: lose 4 kg to 73
eden: get into ntu medicine
hsiu ping: complete soulsilver pokedex
dom: HAHAHAHAHAHA i dont think i should type this out
vanessa: get into floorball nat team
me: play at sea games
fattycheehin: to get gpa of 4.5
yida: get nus scholarship
michibenaro (LOL): gain 1.5cm to 155.5

HAH and who say i cant remember stuff when im drunk eh eh eh? lets hope we fulfil all these resolutions next year guys!!

now a preview of 2012. hmm where do i start actually.. of course it should be polo first since thats about 70 percent of everything i write in this blog anyway. 2012 was almost definitely the best year of polo i had. playing my best polo at the highest level ive ever been to. visiting various countries and playing different competitions. china league in may, sea champs in june/july, sunig in aug/sept, guangzhou in october and dubai in november. fucking awesome year, hope this carries on into the new year. in terms of academy, i guess theres really not much to say. didnt do too well this sem but wasnt really that terrible too i guess, but in my opinion its not too bad after coming back from the brain rotting 2 years of ns and half a year of slackery. guess 2012 was good too cause i got to meet a special someone albeit in a not so special place hahaha. but i guess in terms of moral decency, it wasnt too good because i have been less than proud of myself this year with some things i've done. when karma strikes me one day, i will be fully prepared to accept it as just deserves. but altogether, i think this was really an awesome year , partially cause half the year was actually part of a giant holiday. first tuition job, first regional level competition, first continental level competition, in fact, my first competitions in national colours, first times are always so great arent they? but looking back, there were really some special moments of triumph that i dont think i will forget anytime soon, winning sports camp was a great experience, winning the close final game of sea champs, winning uzbek was also the most adrenaline pumping match, coming from behind to draw saudi. ah also when you finally let lost love die, suddenly the world is so much more enjoyable. ahhhh happy memories of 2012.

but all these draw to a close as we enter 2013. i dont know what will happen in 2013 but i know that i will train and play with a fire that will dim that of others. i want to play sea games of course, but what i would want more is to continuing improve at this pace of 2012. i dont think polo would be as fun when you've peaked and improvement stops, the medals might still come but it wouldnt be as good if there isnt a constant improvement that you can look back upon. i hope my studies pick up a little, nah not aiming too high, i dont see a scholar in the mirror to be honest haha. and finally, i hope i can maintain great friendships and MAYBE make new ones!

shant make too many resolutions cause its hard to do so.
in 2013 i would want to:
play in the sea games
cut down on the pockies
achieve a gpa of at least 3.2
be a great friend to my great friends because they deserve a great friend



on a random note, ive been reading through my old blogposts when i was being an emo kid and i realized i do come up with some pretty cool quotes teehee