Monkey see Monkey do

Monday, December 30, 2013

had the chance to supper (1 hour after dinner, do we stiill count that as supper?) with the sunshines yesterday. great great day, really miss those people. always reminds me of the friends that we always talk about meeting up with but never really get down to doing it but when we actually do meet up, we realize that theres so much to talk about and that youre just reliving the good days. also, looked through lots of my old photos on fb last night, was clicking through them in a reverse chronological order. just amazing to see the people that your hardly talk to now go back in time to those times that you all were super tight and always active on fb groupchats then to the times when you all barely knew each other again. from strangers and back to strangers. hmmmmmm random musings. 

on a side note, really really excited for nye tomorrow with the guys

Saturday, December 28, 2013

Oh and not forgetting. Fuck you 

Oh....kay maybe this is how second best feels like. Best in sea but not being best in that one place you wanna be

hateeee sleeping in this mystery argh

really been here less and less since.. well actually i dont know since when, since i got lazy perhaps. argh hated school last sem. now i know for sure im REALLY REALLY GOING TO HATE SCHOOL next sem. cause i actually have to work damn hard and spend time in school. correction, productive time in school.

really looking forward to nye party at zhonghans house yay. really love nye cause the most important people to me will always be gathered :3 ahhh but not looking forward to the new year i guess hmm

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Terrible way to end Christmas. Fuck off dude 

Fuck. Off. For. Good. Please

Friday, December 20, 2013

Gotta stop fucking with my life

I can talk all the talks but not sure if I can walk all the walks

Argh really should have slept earlier. Stayed awake and all I get is this. Fuck

Ah wtf I didn't even say anything wtf wtf

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

train with the humility and passion as if it was my first sea games, shoulder the responsibility of the team as if it was my last

i guess after the long year it has been, its time for some long over due thanks. been meaning to type this out for a long time but you know holiday turns me to a sloth but thats besides the point i guess.

this year has really been a truly magical and surreal year  for me, well i guess everyone probably just thinks yea its cause of my first sea games but really, i think its abit more than that. sure this year was really a dream come true (and a new year resolution come true i must add) for me, first sea games in the bag and  finally finally not a young junior anymore i guess. really loved every moment of it, savoring what we worked so hard for. if it was for such glory, such adrenaline and such unbridled raw emotions, i would train and train without complaints and just thirst for the next one. really thankful to everyone who has helped me gotten so far though, i can think of so so so many of them off the top of my head. this isnt my success, its a success cultivated by many different individuals, one way or another. i really wanna give a brief mention to these people i feel contributed to my success but im quite scared i missed out people HAHA but i honestly doubt they would know. guess i have to give thanks to uncle ricky and uncle kang for teaching me swimming despite me being a true pain in the ass. uncle koh (or know as pal now), mrs kang, mr ong and those volunteer coaches who helped me too. my brothers for taking up water polo ahead of me and making me join it, lao zhong for my fundamentals and my confidence, mrs kee for enforcing training upon us, all the hwachong seniors who came back to spar and to talk to us, ms lim for believing in me, mengzy for giving me all the opportunities and mystery person x for doing xxx for me. (this is my special trick where the person who feels left out and is reading can pretend he or she is person x to feel better hahahahaha). dont know where this sudden urge to be grateful came from but hey it just came out of nowhere. love this game so much i cant imagine the day retirement comes for me. it wont be sudden (unless its an injury) but it will be slow and painful i guess.

and one more sea games past, probably gonna have a post sea games fever soon (note: not post sea games with drawal), its a a fever. when everyone sees the glory, the recognition and the magnificence of 2015 on local soil, they will start rushing down and train everyday of every week, in my opinion thats post sea games fever, but if you take the post sea games fever throughout the whole of the next two years, then its no longer a fever, but a burning passion. looking forward to the new year ahead, challenges challenges, always striving to be the same, be the best player i can be because i believe that if i am the best i can be, one day i can be the best in singapore.

Saturday, December 14, 2013

Argh can't sleep well everytime

Monday, December 09, 2013

Sigh fucking pie. Thought winning would feel better than this.

Can't tell if it's always me or what. But i really feel like some villain loads of time.

Learn. Adapt. Change. Accept and whatever

Treading that line between possessive and caring

Wasn't looking for a fight. Just a moment to share one of the greatest accomplishment for me so fAr

Hmmm dont know how to start really. Haven't really played my best this competition but at the same time, I cannot complain too much because it is my first sea games medal after all. But it sux so bad to feel like I didn't contribute or worse, that I don't deserve it. Thought I was some kind of exceptionality to the normal players but it turned out I'm just like any other.

Supposed to be my happy moment :(((((((((( hate spending it alone

Jubilant... I guess

Sunday, December 08, 2013

Fucking stupid fucking stupid. What type of fuckjng athlete am I to let all this affect me. My own dreams my friends dreams And my countries glory. For something so trivial

Really fucking stupid of me but I can't help it

Thursday, December 05, 2013

really touched to have so many people i used to know at some point of my life wishing me the best. i will do my best and i will hope that is the best that is required. and thank you so much, especially you :3

Sunday, December 01, 2013

What if the happiest you'll ever be was in the past. What if all I can give can never match up.

The simplest act to make someone happy.

Just 40 more hours to go and something like that has to happen.

It hurts when she's running away from you and not towards