Embarrassing max when your friend is paying for your Sogurt icecream and I dint know Sogurt is self service by weight. I took the smallest cup and made a fucking slurpee out of it :/ embarrassing maxxxx

Better day, we all love improvements don't we? All at least the illusion of it, until the next bad day comes and you wonder if it was all for naught

gonna be a better week for polo

pretty good but i can def be faster and plays can def be smoother

I don't understand some of these rituals really, not trying to be disrespectful here or anything but how does picking a stick from a giant bunch of others going to answer questions in your life. I'm sure almost all the answers we seek in life can be answered by humans or can be results of human actions. Why pose these questions to divine beings when your child is responsible for his own results, you are responsible for your own health and your asshole boyfriend is responsible for being whether he wants to return to you. Well maybe questions like will I get struck by lightning or will an asteroid fuck us up can be asked I guess.

Conclusion to all this is why believe in something so unreachable when your solutions are closer than expected? But tbh I probably used to pray a little especially I'm desperate in some situations, but back then those situations are like when I lose an exercise book or something, kinda insignificant now haha, but as I grow up I realized that many of these praying scenarios are nothing divine but a mix of human actions and coincidence.

I hope one day, I could say that I got over you as easily too

going nuts with that song, its just too good. jebal na tonagajima i think or something, i dont love korean but that song is awesome haha

damn, strength test today, more like weak test, a test to reveal how weak you truly are. and im pretty weak as it is. fuckkkkkkk gotta do better than this man, i have big dreams and big ambitions!! why like this, why my shooting still so weird =(((((

ive already gave everything down to my pride, i wont give the memories as well. it dosent matter if shes away as long as she can fly higher that way. maybe, just maybe, i start to realize that i fly higher and swim further on my own

And then..... There are days like this one

dammit how how how how, its either i give up on a better education or be an asshole, which one would i choose? i always pride myself in having decently high moral values but making the switch would be a real fuckup move man. HOWW

The game was forgettable enough but the sensation, that feeling that crept from the fingertips all the way to the toes, pure adrenaline, the feeling of beating the odds, literally gave me goosebumps, that's what I'm searching for.

I'm so fucked for school, just two hours of this English class and I'm yawning my ass off and wishing it will end. My hyperactiveness is on a whole new level man

every game's a journey i guess. god i fucking hate losing dammit.

argh im born to be better than this, fuck this shit. this rage mode gotta go away. i need to stop raging people no matter the situation. fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk this shit i hate losing. i love beating the odds but well theres a reason the odds isnt in favour

It's still saddening but im long over the point where I show or where I do something about it

Still get those little fantasies, just that as time passes, it gets faster to snap out of them. Nowadays it's just snap I'm done

good training, bad for the body

its almost a fucking liquid diet the way im drinking sugared drinks

oh oh and its game on this thursday, im feeling it again, whenever theres something to play for and someone good to play against, this feeling just comes back.

its so much easier to look at the world through the eyes as a player. calm and calculating but never really affected my emotion. it aint simple, you gotta read what he wants to do and what he might do and how to exploit whatever weakness you find and cover the weaknessess about yourself that you already know. but its still so much easier, you dont give a shit what he thinks about you, your job is to make him hate you as much as possible and better still if you could keep yourself unnoticeable, its much easier then life when you wanna give differenet impressions to different people and where at times you wanna be invisible, you want to be standing out for certain people too. in life, you got to give a shit about everybody's feelings, not too harsh here or this dood will cry etc, in the game, all you have to do is winning. winning is right, anything that attributes to it is consequently right too. easy aint it. i realized that without this, i would probably have gone mad, its probably how i manage to keep my behavious decent in normal life (and yes that is considered decent for me), it keeps me from jumping around hyperactively (more so than usual), at times it keeps me from banging my head on the wall, it keeps me too tired for stupid thoughts of all sorts and it teaches me to slowly analyze stuff and think of everything in a win and lose situation where the only right answer is winning. it helps i guess, at times, when you stop being a person but a player, keeps you grounded and its a wonderful excuse for the most fucked up stuff i do haha. i never thought i would say this but sometimes, i realize i really hate interacting with people, maybe im finally going through the lone wolf phase everyone seems to go through (yea i mature at a much slower pace, i hope that means i die later too). i simply cant lie to myself and i dont want to lie to anyone, i rather keep a distance than hurt myself any further, i can probably keep this distance forever with only my will faltering occasionally, but maybe maybe when theres further proof that a asteroid in a giant jolly face shape is going to fuck earth for good on 21st december, i might muster up some courage on the 20th. or maybe if i develop a super mega terminal virus that says that i will die within a few hours, i would.

how are you

as an after thought, maybe i should stop forcing my interests on others. if they arent into it, they arent into it

Fuck fuck fuck. Doing almost everything right but scoring fuck

C'mon I can do better than getting angry at little kids

I'm really over reliant on my iPhone haha. Gotta learn to live without it or gotta learn never to lose it. Fucking awesome day today, celebrated bens birthday, surprised him at lunch hahaha. Sigh awesome friends will be awesome friends forever. Had my mums side reunion dinner today too. And I really miss my grandma all of a sudden, I know its been a year plus but it's like suddenly missing her sigh. Which led me to a whole train of sad thoughts like how I miss mr thong too. Death takes us all in the end.

I've been coming up with my new year resolutions, looked through last years resolutions and realized... The font was terrible and I can't read shit from that post on my iPhone hahaha, but I vaguely remember no vulgarities, oops, apologizing to my friends for things I call them, oops, visiting all my old teachers, fucking big oops cause I never saw mr thong in the end.

This year I'll keep it simple and possible.
Train with an effort equivalent of the passion. I'll train as hard as I love the game, I don't need any other motivation but myself. Let the desire to win and Improve fuel me.

I'll never cry over a girl again. Never ever ever ever ever ever, yea allowed to feel sad occasionally but never to cry. I'm stronger than that, only the foolish open their heart to the person who will tear it apart over and over again. I've learned never to be the first to show hand.

Make sure I do decently in university. Yea took a fuck lot of effort to get into university better make good use of it.

Visiting old teachers and meeting friends. Death takes us all one day( not cursing anyone). Anything can happen so imma stay with these people who made my life awesome while I can.

Male promises you can keep. Well I wanna be a trustworthy person so I guess this is a definite first step. If I don't intend to do something I wot give a definite reply. When I promise, I will do it. If I'm not sure I'll just promise to try haha.

Quit ( insert whatever I promised at nye ).

That's about all for resolutions but there are of course some small points I wish to improve here and there. Perhaps to become more matured and maybe find a girlfriend instead of thinking about an old one or ogling at impossible ones at concerts.

2011 was awesome but it had its really sad moments too. Namely snsd concert and losing mr thong. I have a lot of expectations for 2012!! Fuck the world ending I haven't had enough fun yet!

Typing all this on my phone is really difficult

Erase all your fears and all your admiration.

after a drama filled week, we are finally going to the semis. haha gonna face nus at the semis but we wanna do anything we can to go finals for ngeeann.

argh this new thing is so complicating but it looks so fucking easy in theory. and this new shooting thing is killing my elbows i dunno why too. but i really wanna master it cause it seems like the only recognized way somehow fml.

watching snsd running man while marking tutees homework hahahaha. obviously my tutees dont have to know about this

i knew it, for all bad days there would be some decent ones, irrepressible energy!! >D i dont usually use emoticon but this one suits the occasion haha

I love it when I'm appreciated, maybe deep down that's really why I train so hard

You don't fall for the same person twice, you just never stopped loving that person

when i close my eyes i see you, when i block my ears i hear you.

we were in love by t-ara and davichi is really too good, its good plus its really emo, if i ever learn a korean song, its gotta be this. i loveeee the lyrics (well at least their english translation heh)

(SOYEON): uri saranghaetjana jebal nal ullijima ojik naegen no hanappunya 
(HAERI): nuneul gamado boyeo gwireul magadeo deullyeo 
(SOYEON & HAERI): jebal nal ttonagajima

(JIYEON):eoduwotdeon nae sarme bichi dweojun saram,,, neomuna seojunghan
saram
(MINKYUNG):haru jinago,, tto jinado,, deo geuriwojyeo,, i norael haneun
jigeumdeo

CHORUS 
(SOYEON): uri saranghaetjana jebal nal ullijima ojik naegen no hanappunya 
(HAERI): nuneul gamado boyeo~ gwireul magadeo deullyeo~ 
(SOYEON & HAERI): jebal nal ttonagajima~

(SOYEON):doraolgoet gataseo,, dasi eoljji mollaseo,, eoneuldo neoreul
gidaryeo
(MINKYUNG):neoneun moreuji,, neon moreuji,, apahaneun nal i norael haneun
jigeumdeo

CHORUS 
(SOYEON): uri saranghaetjana~jebal nal ullijima nal ddugo tteonagajima~
(HAERI): nuneul gamado boyeo~ gwireul magadeo deullyeo~ 
(SOYEON & HAERI): jebal nal ttonagajima~
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com 

RAP
(MINKYUNG):sessangwa neo deuljunge taekharamyeon hana nae jeonbul ppaesadeo
neoramutneunyeon nan joha najina bamina saranghae nang mongmareun ja neol
ijen itja ireon naui gatjanheun dajimi tto dasi nareul ullyeo deullyeo 
(HYOMIN):noege baraneungeon ojik neoya neo eobsin amugeotdeo halseu omneun
naya i norael deureumyeon jebal neo deorawa deorawa 

2nd CHORUS
(HYOMIN):saranghamyeon halsurok~ jeomjeom yawieoman ga~ ojik naegen neo
hanappunya~ 
(HAERI):uri saranghaetjana~ jebal nal ullijima~ nal ddugo tteonagajima~ 

2nd Rap
(HWAYOUNG): yeah uh,uh, gyeolgeuk neon doraseo naneun tto magaseo jajonsim
da beorigeo michincheo neol ttaraseo gaseumi doeryeo nareul dageuchigeo
malhasseo
sesanghae hanappunin neol irchineun mallaesseo naneun tto eutneuncheo
geunyang meoljjeonghanchok noege beuruneun majimak nauie i norae 

(SOYEON):jebal nal ttonagajima 


lol go find the english yourself, im too lazy, good things have to be worked hard for haha

I won't admire any of them because I intend to surpass all of them.

Without speed and stamina I'm nothing special, but lucky, that's where I'm special, I just have to swim with every bit of strength for every ball, that's all I'm good for and that's what I am good for. Don't stop, don't ever forget your greatest weapons

45 min without a sack or a goal that's fucking pathetic for a flank

Bad bad bad bad bad bad I know I can play better than this, what's the point of this raw speed when it's not getting any bloody effect? I can play Better than this and I will, this is one of those days it feels like shit, but I'm sure a nice day will come soon as long as I keep going at it.

The first love is the sweetest, but the first cut deepest

Aw I read this on twitter, there are two reasons people don't talk about something, either it dosent mean anything to them or it means everything to them. I don't know which is it anymore

On shitty days like this, I just wanna retreat into my own zone. Awake and earning money at seven plus argh

members are energy pills, vitamins and motivation. -taeyeon

wise words we shouldnt forget HAHAHA, but yea if i live and work with my teammates, i'll be a real bundle of energy too.. hmm more like i'll be a bigger bundle of energy heh.

yesterday night was another awesome new year's eve with the team haha, this tradition gotta carry on forever and ever man. some things are just too good to be changed. but damn helipad cant really see the fireworks, we managed to catch glimpses of the reflections though hahaha. something we all set out to do in year 2012, lets hope by the end of next year we can be happy that we have achieved everything we set out to do. to quit smoking, to wish that we will always be happy together, to find a job, to do well in school, to do well in school, to do well in school (yea it was repeated 3 times assholes), to find a girlfriend, to find a girlfriend (yea that was repeated twice as well, to get into the u23 team, to learn to swim, to get into med school and shit i forgot about junsongs one hahaha. damn but lets hope 2012 is awesome and on nye 2012 we can come together and realize we have achieved at least one thing we set out to do and did it well. oh wait i remembered junsongs one already, he wants to ord in 2012 when his ord date is in 2013 HAHAHA. that accounts for everybody present that night. i hope you have one thing you set out to do too my dear chau, well, at least one thing. for this team of fucking awesome people, no amount of time spent is considered enough for me. ok scratch that, i just remembered that my last years resolution was to cut down on the effs and the c's. so the night went like helipad, then zhihongs dads place then followed by me and zhihong wasting 2 hours plus on the road hahaha. yes life shouldnt always be about rushing somewhere in a hurry or completing something important or learning something at every bloody moment (contrary to what my dad thinks). im only twenty, hectic life can wait, im sure i will get a shit load of it in the future. thinking back, 3 years ago, i was playing drunk chess, karaoking, drinking and laughing with friends that will never leave me and calling the girl of my dreams at midnight, 3 years on, it was proven that they are indeed friends who will never leave, but dreams can be fleeting.

haha its pretty funny actually, how i have to deliberately make write a message that looks like its a spammed one to a particular person when all these years, i have been trying to do it the other way round, writing a spammable message that has a personal touch to it. when in fact all i really want is to write one message so long and so heartfelt that i can make a rock cry with it. hahaha exaggeration max. i dont look forward to finding new love in 2012, but i do look forward to letting lost love die.

to all those reading this too, happy new year, looking forward to another year of sharing my not so mundane life here. i'll think hard about my resolutions and write it down sometime soon. haha gai jayo! i think thats goodbye in korean